25 responses to “If you call me exotic I will never sleep with you, or, Why You Should Not Call Me Exotic

  1. Jeff Nguyen

    Well played.

  2. Haha! I see where you are coming from. Sometimes things said that are well meant are actually backhanded compliments. I personally like the word exotic, and I’ll tell you why. To me it implies (at least in the context of when American men say it) someone who appreciates some type of beauty besides the typical hollywood, blond haired, blue-eyed, Victoria’s secret models. It does seem to have connotations to being “foreign,” probably because if a woman doesn’t have a specific look, it seems like a lot of times, she doesn’t get noticed at all. Basically, unless you’re Hollywood pretty or exotic pretty, men look through you.

  3. sociologification

    YES! This is a post I have wanted to write for a while. Hi you over there wearing my shoes. Nice to stumble upon you. I’ve been called exotic a few too many times in my born-in-California, totally-not-foreign, don’t-fetishize-me life. Thanks for your ‘tude, girl – you’ve got one half-Asian non-exotic appreciator here.

  4. Totally agree. But I’m beyond that now. And no, dearie didn’t choose me because I was exotic. If he did, I shattered that 22 yrs. ago when I met him.

  5. Pointed and funny. Nicely done.

    Sexual objectification is bad enough. To have subtle racism/ fetishism thrown into the mix would be absolutely maddening.

  6. Like it!
    SHould be really weird indeed to be described as exotic!!

  7. This is awesome! Most of the points I have pondered on at least a couple of post-childhood Disney discussions, but the Nice Guy Syndrome was a very fresh and actually hilarious turn I hadn’t yet considered. Fun read, thank you ;-))

  8. Nathalia

    I completely agree and have been saying these points for so long to my guy friends!! I’m gonna be sharing this post to show I’m not the only one….

  9. Thank you for bringing the definition of that word to my attention! I’m Native American and also get the creeps when called “exotic”. Now I have some ammo. My ancestors do come from this land mass, thank you very much, Mr. or Ms. inevitable future creeper who is going to say I’m SO exotic looking….

  10. Lol, I FB this, only one guy called me this, and that was the end of that!

  11. Agreed. It’s objectifying. Like you’re an object in a museum to be marveled at or a rare species at the zoo. Weird. And why is it always men throwing that word around? I’ve never heard a woman say she was attracted to a man because he was “exotic.” Different from what she’s used to? Maybe. But I think the word definitely has a feminine connotation.

  12. blowingoffsteamandmore

    Love this! Having recently moved from culturally diverse South FL to Western VA I think some people just can’t help it. They think avocados and mahi mahi are exotic too and even announce the arrival of these exotic foods in huge letters on the storefront. Sigh.

  13. So glad I came across your blog! This post is too hilarious but essentially true. Sadly that word is casually tossed around where I live, especially when locals see a couple of mixed race (and sometimes of unmatched proportions). I agree with all your points, it’s never at all flattering to be called exotic!

  14. dlwatib

    On the other hand, it’s never at all flattering to be called the opposite of exotic either–plain!

  15. Ah i know the feeling i’m always the ‘exotic’ one 😦

  16. But… But… I like snakes! And orchids!
    Not sure what Masala Chai is, though. I’ll take a stab and say, tea, perhaps?

  17. thank you for your comparison to the word “moist.” Ew. A soon as someone equates another word to “moist”, I have a crystal clear picture of how they feel about the word.

  18. Very sweet story indeed. I think my favorite part is Lloyd saying they can’t re-read the letters because they’ll just break down. Must bring back so many memories.

  19. Laughed here:
    “If you put me into that category you are basically asking for me to put a poisonous snake into your Masala Chai mix and send an orchid to your funeral.”

    Nodded here:
    “This is a dumb word to use in America because 98.8% of the population was introduced from abroad, so when you call me exotic you’re actually saying that I’m conformist.”

    “Oh yes!” here:
    “Calling me exotic says more about you than it does about me. And what it says (because after you’ve called me exotic I’m an it) is…”

    And fist-pump at the punch line in #10. Because I don’t know why anybody thinks that word is a compliment.

  20. missy

    idk, “exotic” to me has a positive connotation. When I think of something exotic, I think of something that is new and exciting, unique, appealing… but as a compliment for human appearance it might be kind of weird. People call me “fiery”, but I think it’s just because I have red hair.

  21. 3D Printer

    Wo, you have some strong views. I really like that you dared to talk about things most people wouldn’t. You ahave some guts. 3dprinter-com.webnode.com

  22. SammyLynn

    What is a good word to use as a compliment to a woman who is Palestinian? If the word “exotic” is taken in a bad context, then what is a word meaning beautiful/foreign, ugh I don’t want foreign to come off in a bad way when I say it either. My friend is definitely beautiful but i want her to know that she is different in a good way, not at all like the Victoria’s Secret model who is 5’8 long blonde hair with size 34D breasts and size 0 pants, which Americans look at as the typical beautiful woman. All races, sizes, colors, ethnicity’s, and culture’s are beautiful. So with that being said what would you consider a compliment but still telling you that your not common???

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